But why? Why commit to starting a blog when it’s 1:22am on a Tuesday night and I only have my phone to write on? The short answer is that I’m mentally tired but my body just can’t seem to figure that out yet.
The long answer is—well, longer. I could say that it’s because I want to be a writer, but we should all know that there is a very big difference between saying a thing and doing a thing. Sure, my degree is in Creative Writing, but what have I actually done to prove it since the last time I walked out of a classroom? I haven’t written any short stories in that time. I may have written in my journal a grand total of twice in the past 18 months.
I’m no good at being disciplined when it comes to routines. I have never gone to the gym consistently, and from this bed, currently, I sit a mere 500 feet from the entrance to the YMCA. Since my work hours are slightly flexible, I’ll silence my multiple morning alarm anywhere from 20 to 90 times. I dread the thought of brushing my teeth every day, and dream of the future where nanobots will do the work for me.
And so I’ve put aside writing since graduation. I could blame it on the stress of trying to find a job, or then the stress of said job, or then the stress of quitting said job only to start the cycle all over again, but the fact is, I lack discipline. I like to think big, dream of some glorious final product that I will someday finish, but if I can’t even write on a semi-consistent basis, what’s the point?
Dreams are great. I love to dream. I am a wonderful dreamer. But I need to put in the hard work if I want to accomplish anything.
My dad has always said I was a hard worker—and that was true when I was helping him wash windows in northwest Indiana at age 10 or aerate lawns in the south suburbs at age 15. (Due to those pesky laws that prevent free child labor, yes, my father always paid me.) When it comes to the stuff like schoolwork, I’ve always coasted. I never felt like school was hard work.
But school is over for me. It’s time to go to work.
It’s like the song by Bleachers says: “I Wanna Get Better.” Yes, that’s way too cheesy. Yes, I kind of hate myself for writing it and I hate myself even more for not editing it out. But I just couldn’t help myself. I need more practice.
So that’s what this blog is for: Practice. Hard Work. Discipline. Some other cliché. Maybe one day I can leave the clichés behind, but for now, I need to start a routine. So thank you for reading if you made it this far, and thank you in advance for sticking around, if you do. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
(Seriously, dude? Come on.)